A Milestone Birthday
It was 50 years ago this month that the Vietnam War officially came to an end. The musical Miss Saigon immortalized the image of the last helicopter evacuating the U.S. Embassy on April 30, 1975.
As that American misadventure came to end, my adventure began that same day, on the other side of the world. That means I hit the half century mark this month.
Inside my head, I think I’m the same person I was at 30. Mirrors and photographs tell a different story. I often see people and muse, “They look old,” only to realize with dismay that the person is younger than me.
At 41, I became a father for the first and only time. I meet the parents of my 8-year-old’s friends and view them as peers. I suspect that’s not how they see me.
Even as I grapple with the reality that my yesterdays almost definitely outnumber my tomorrows, I appreciate the perks, too.
It’s a minor miracle that only one person ever asked me, “How old is your granddaughter?” It’s not crazy. My Granny – a Hart County native still kicking in her 90s – was 42 when I was born.
As my friends’ kids graduate college, I’m going to 2nd grade recitals and parent-teacher meetings. They might share a glass of wine with their adult children. I warm my daughter’s milk in a microwave.
Photo credit: Mohammad Ansari
Having a child late in life changes your career timeline. Without her, I’d probably take a step back in my 50s and knock off some of those bucket list items beckoning me while I’m still able. What will hang over my head instead are the ginormous costs of parenthood. Her bachelor’s degree will come around the same time as my Medicare card.
I’ve begun to understand the phrase “the indignities of aging.” I have also figured out why I didn’t know the details of those indignities. It’s because for the most part, they’re embarrassing and socially inappropriate to discuss.
I now know what it means when body parts stop working with the precision of Old Faithful. Getting up from a seated position on the floor now requires a thoughtful strategy. Nerve pain in my shoulders makes it difficult to put on jackets or sleep on my side, which I need to do to minimize snoring, only recently a problem. Rolling out of bed, my feet hurt for no clear reason before I hobble down the stairs as if I’m trying out a new prosthetic leg.
Doctor visits, once perfunctory, now result in demands for tests that involve inserting tubes into veins. Employees at my pharmacy know my name on sight.
Even as I grapple with the reality that my yesterdays almost definitely outnumber my tomorrows, I appreciate the perks, too.
For one, accumulated savings mean I’m more able to afford to do what I want than I was before my hair turned gray and the rivers of time carved wrinkles into my increasingly leathery face.
I like to think I’m wiser. At 30, I began to understand I’m an introvert and no longer felt like a loser for wanting a night alone at home.
I’m still neurotic at times, but I try to save my meltdowns for the truly consequential.
I aim to practice kindness, avoid negative commentary on others behind their backs and accept that there are some people, lacking in taste and discernment, who won’t like me despite my efforts.
The ticking clock does bring some urgency. There are still goals I want to reach, places I want to see, experiences I want to enjoy. Nothing seems more pressing than preparing my daughter for a successful life on her own one day.
As I look forward with focus, I look back with gratitude. I won the family lottery with loving parents who remain a daily part of my life. My wife and daughter are healthy and thriving.
My mind falls short of brilliance but works as well as it did at 20. I live in a wonderful community in the state I love.
I’ve watched my alma mater win college football national championships in person. I’ve fulfilled my childhood dream of working in politics on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. and as a senior adviser to a Georgia governor here in Atlanta. My business has kept me hopping.
To top it all off, I get paid (small amounts) to talk about my favorite topic – Georgia politics – on radio, TV and here in Georgia Trend.
This April 30, I don’t plan any Miss Saigon-like helicopter escape to mark that anniversary or my birthday. I have too much to stay for. 
Brian Robinson is on The Georgia Gang Sundays on WAGA/Fox 5 Atlanta. He won a Green Eyeshade Award in 2024 for Humorous Commentary/Magazines for the column he writes for Georgia Trend.
