Not Enough Answers

It’s not that I don’t ponder the big questions: Why am I here? What does it all mean? Did I remember to unplug the iron? I certainly do and will be happy to share any insights that I uncover as soon as I actually uncover them.

But while I’m waiting for enlightenment, I spend time on some of the small and medium-sized questions that perplex me. I doubt that I’m the first to ask any of these; but, in no particular order:

Why is it that people from other parts of the country think they are paying you a compliment if they tell you that you “don’t sound Southern”?

Why am I always drawn to the slowest check-out lane? Or the self-serve gas pump that isn’t working but has no sign indicating that?

Why, during bad weather, do TV stations run telephone numbers for people to call if their power is out?

Were children really better behaved in restaurants 20 years ago, or were my ears just 20 years younger?

Why is it that when people start a sentence with, “I’m not a racist, but …” it always crosses my mind that they might be wrong?

Is it possible that people who talk on cell phones in public places in extremely loud voices have some pathetic need to be perceived as important, or are they just rude?

Why would a peaceful person who’s not crazy about guns be fascinated by cop shows, and why do I particularly like the ones in which the bad guys get what’s coming to them, even if it’s a bullet? Is it really because I admire the writing or the character development, as I have been known to claim?

Does anybody still make those little pink “While You Were Out” message slips that used to be a staple in every office?

Why don’t delivery-service vehicles ever get ticketed for parking illegally? Even when the parking “space” is blocking an entire lane of traffic on a busy street during rush hour?

Will I ever be able to drink the day’s first cup of coffee without a newspaper in my hand?

Are Atlanta drivers becoming just a teeny bit more courteous, or am I delusional?

When people say, “I don’t mean to interfere …” doesn’t that usually indicate they are about to do just that?

Why does something always go wrong, electronically, at presentations? Either the Power Point stuff doesn’t work or there’s feedback from the microphone or somebody doesn’t have the right cord for a laptop. In the old days, the problem was usually upside-down slides – fairly easy to fix.

Why do the geese from our office pond choose to walk across the frighteningly busy street where we are located? If they really have to get to the other side, couldn’t they just fly?

Why is the word “bi-partisanship” most frequently invoked by those who have absolutely no interest in being bi-partisan but merely want to oppose someone else’s ideas without advancing any of their own?

Is it still true that Thin Mints are actually good for you, or does that only apply to mothers of active Girl Scouts?

And a query for my credit card company: Many years ago when I first became a card member, the monthly statements arrived about three weeks before the payment was due. Why has that changed? Some months there is less than a week between bill arrival and payment due date, barely time to write a check and mail it off.

Why do hamburgers always taste better in restaurants than they do at home, and why do grilled cheese sandwiches taste better when they are homemade?

And why does beer taste better at a baseball game than it does anywhere else, even when you’re down to the last lukewarm sip?

Is it just because I am part of the media that I am weary of hearing people blame all their troubles on the media? (Come to think of it, I probably do know the answer to that one.)

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement