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Neely Young: Quips And Quotes

 

Every so often my column is made up of old saying and quips. Some are from famous people like Ralph Waldo Emerson or Thomas Jefferson. Others I hear from friends and family.

And you, dear readers, send me many of them.

I thank you for that. I’ve been told that many of you use them in your speeches, and some ministers use them in their sermons. They all show a bit of truth, wit and whimsy and should bring a smile to your face.

I’ve learned:

That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

That I can pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

That life is like a roll of toilet paper: the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occur while climbing it.

That the less time I have to work with, the more I get things done.

The above was sent to me by Becky Blalock and was written by the late 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney.

And here is some Presidential wisdom, taken from Decalogue of Canons for Observa-tions in Practical Life by President Thomas Jefferson.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.

Never spend money before you have it.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap, it will be dear to you.

Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold.

We never repent of having eaten too little.

Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

How much pain has caused us the evils which never happen?

Take things always by the smooth handle.

When angry, count [to] ten, before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.

The following “I’ve learned” truisms come from a 1967 book by Jo Petty called Wings of Silver owned by Annie Young Wilson, my wife’s late grandmother.

The flower that follows the sun does so even on cloudy days.

Activity and sadness are incompatible.

I’ve learned that a cheerful friend is like a sunny day.

That whosoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two.

That man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart.

That talent knows what to do; tact knows when and how to do it.

I’ve learned that the virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize.

From the old oracle Ralph Waldo Emerson: All things have two handles; beware of the wrong one.

And, of course, more of my favorite bloopers from church bulletins, courtesy of those wonderful church ladies with keyboards:

“The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus walks on water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’”

“Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.”

“A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening, followed by special music.”

“Please place your donation in the envelopes along with the deceased person you want remembered.”

And, finally, repeating an old Georgia favorite:

In Augusta they ask, “Who were your parents?”

In Atlanta they ask, “What do you do?”

In Savannah they ask, “Will you have a drink?”

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